Damn Voices
by Notus Lethe
Summary: Was Rinoa the girl who melted Squall's heart? Are you sure....


This is the first FF story I have written. It takes place from the scene where Quistis confronts Squall on the balcony after the dance to the whole secret area scene. I am a QSshipper (Quistis and Squall) and this story kinda reflects on it but it's not too bad. There's a whole lot of cursing (mostly damn, hell and the f-word once) so that's why its R plus an implied sexual sitiation. You'll figure out he title soon... tee-hee. I was so bored when I wrote this so enjoy it! Nothing to do with FF8 is anything I own. Someone else does. Oh and the whole situation is based on my game where Shiva is junctioned to Squall and Quezacotl is junctioned to Quistis. So enjoy and e-mail me with any comments or icky no-nos. Please flames are kinda fun too!! 

************************************************************************************** 

Balamb Garden stood off in the distance, glowing and as beautiful as ever. But that didn't matter. Nothing mattered actually, especially that stupid dance that was still going on. He didn't even know why he bothered to come. Scratch that, he knew exactly why he came. Zell and all his damn happiness had gotten to him after all. Maybe the night wasn't a total loss though. That girl, the one who had made him dance, she was intriguing. 

It wasn't as if he was stunned by her beauty, no, he'd seen much prettier women than she, including a certain instructor here at the Garden. But still… no one short of the same instructor had been so friendly and nice to him. Almost as if she didn't know who he was or even cared. And that fascinated him. Someone who was kind to Squall Leonhart. Hmph. He needed to find out who she was and soon, or it'd drive him crazy. 

Light footsteps fell behind him, and idly he wondered who'd know he would be out on the balcony. He should have known who it was, he'd know those footsteps anywhere, but for some reason, Squall hoped it was the girl, entranced by his… (His what? Conversation skills? Ha) something and had come out to see him. But when he turned his head slightly to glance at whoever it was, his eyes briefly scanned over Quistis Trepe. 

Instructor Trepe with the infamous Trepies for groupies. Just by looking at her, one could see why she had groupies in the first place. By far the most beautiful woman he knew, Trepe was only a year older than Squall. If he had her fighting skills, he would have stayed in SeeD and not been an instructor. All those useless kids trying to make something of themselves and only about an eighth of them would make it. In fact, Trepe didn't seem like an instructor anyway. Too emotional and easily frustrated to teach students. Perhaps that was why Squall learned easily from her. Not only was she the opposite of him (although completely different from that girl in the dance… how could that be?) but she seemed to favor him out of all her students. That was probably the reason she was coming to him now, even though he did not feel like talking to anyone. Which was the case most of the time. 

He looked back at her again, keeping his body turned away from her. Squall was careful to keep any of his thoughts out of his eyes, definitely squashing the hope that had been in there before. She seemed jittery, like whatever she was going to say was bad news. He glanced back at the towering blue landmark and waited for her to speak. That wasn't a good plan either though. Trepe had one of those enchanting voices that lulled the nearest member of the opposite sex into a trance which couldn't be broken. He himself had suffered this fate several times over. And now, being as insightful and (sigh) emotional as he was, he'd be no contest to do whatever she asked him to. 

After several moments of silence, Quistis leaned against the rail so that she was facing him. Her voice rumbled out of her throat finally. "You can dance with total strangers but when you talk to me you get nervous?" 

Hell yeah, he wanted to say. Someone like Quistis could destroy him, shatter his carefully built 'lone wolf' status. Her or that girl inside maybe, would turn him into an out-spoken jock if he wasn't careful. Someone like her (although Squall wasn't too sure which her) would make him care, feel. I can't let her keep talking to me, he thought desperately. His mind worked quickly to come up with something to push her away. "What do you want?" 

"Meet me at the secret area in the Training Center?" Her voice was frightened, asking. How the hell can I compete with that? Her orange eyebrows were furrowed in a helpless gesture. It was definitely something he couldn't compete with, even his thoughts about the girl at the dance. With a slight nod, barely perceptible to even himself but totally clear to Quistis who knew him well, Squall sealed his fate. 

"Go get changed and I'll meet you in the hallway." The voice was breathy and excited, she had someone to tell. He left the suddenly small balcony and began to walk to his room; feeling not only conned, but like an idiot. Next I'll be slaying dragons to save some damn damsel in distress. 

*FFVIII* 

Her body remained rigid until he fully left. Even then, she only allowed herself to relax a little. She'd tell him tonight, and he'd be the only one who would know. It was close to midnight and then it'd be official. All those years to be a instructor would leave her. Yes, she'd tell Squall that she was fired from being an instructor but not the whole reason. No, no one would know that. Headmaster Cid had been kind to her, disappointed when she had decided to quit and offered for her to remain as a SeeD and secretly instruct from inside. He had been quite excited actually. It was over-whelming. 

Quistis Trepe walked back through the hallway and past her old classroom without so much as a glance. The elevator trip seemed to take the longest it had ever taken. The headmaster's happy face flashed in her mind again and Quistis couldn't stop the frown coming on her face. If there was one thing that she hated (besides being a cold unfeeling person ahem) it was lying. And she had done just that. Cid had asked her gently why she was going to quit and why she wanted everyone to think she was fired. 

What had she come up with? Oh yes, something about not wanting her students to think she didn't want to teach them. Even as she stepped out of the elevator and went down the steps to the directory board, Quistis scoffed at herself. The little voice that had been talking in her head more than usual came back up. 

That T-Rexasaur you defeated earlier could have come up with something better. It was a stupid reason anyway. Leaving the job you love to go run after a student who won't even talk in private? Great going Trepe, I think the Garden should've promoted you ages ago! 

And no matter how much she tried to ignore that voice, it kept coming back with the hurting truth. She had fallen in love with Squall. When he had first come into her class, it was definitely a physical attraction. All girls fell for the whole tall dark mysterious and handsome bit. But it was those precious moments where he opened up, if just for a miniscule piece of emotion or information, that Quistis fell. And hard did she fall. It was a disaster. 

On the directory board in front of her, Quistis pressed the Training Center and felt the blue beam of light engulf her and transport her to the place. The place where her life would end. 

*FFVIII* 

She was in the hallway to the Training Center as promised. He approached her indifferently and she asked him if he had defeated the T-Rexasaur inside. He had but replied that he wasn't sure. Happily assuming the role of instructor again, she gave him a brief over-view of how to do it, covering the whole using the Sleep spell that Squall already knew. He stood throughout it though, nodding every time she stopped to see if he was still listening. Once she was finished, Quistis gestured for him to lead the way. With as much coolness he could force into his steps, Squall walked slowly, painfully aware of each soft footstep following him. 

It was strange fighting beside her. One of his (many) rules was to not let someone fight with him. Of course he had to break this rule earlier that day, first when he and Quistis had gone to the Fire Cavern and then later with Zell and Selphie during the SeeD evaluation but he hadn't trusted them at all. No, he'd more likely turn his GF on one of them before killing the monster. He had had to restrain himself several times over from blasting them with Shiva. But now it was different. 

Squall didn't even glance at her during her attacks at the T-Rexasaur they encountered. Everything she did he could feel and did his best to enhance that attack. Surprising was that Quistis did the exact same thing. Neither of them (stupidly as Squall thought about it) had stocked up on Sleep magic. Before entering one of the twin doors to go into the actual Center, Squall had junctioned Quezacotl to her (she had told him that she had had Guardian Forces but now she didn't. Something that confused Squall but he said nothing). Even more surprising (and somewhat angering Squall) was when Quezacotl immediately worked well for her, sometimes complying even more than Shiva did for Squall. It would be hard to get his GF back. 

The T-Rexasaur rushed forward to snap a quick bite at Squall right in the middle of calling Shiva. Quistis shoved him out of the way and took the hit, dropping to one knee and the standing up again with a thin sheen of perspiration on her pretty face. Squall watched as Shiva did Diamond Dust, feeling her energy and boredness with fighting so much, defeated the T-Rexasaur. Trying to look reluctant, he gave her a Potion (and much to his dismay, she honorably tried to refuse it. One more protest and he would have taken the damn thing back), which she cast and regained the lost strength from taking the hit made for Squall. 

It was the second time she had saved his life (Shiva's HP was low and one hit from the T-Rexasaur would have K.O.ed her, which would have made Squall use his last G-Returner and he knew he'd need that later). He owed her twice. Squall cursed himself for allowing someone to be able to save him. When she had saved him back on the island, he couldn't believe it. 

Someone would save him? The useless loner that shunned everyone? Who would have the balls to save his ass and risk being shunned along with him? And it was Quistis. The woman who he already was having queasy feelings about getting to close had just saved him. That was a priceless moment. He could just imagine how shocked and horrified his face looked. If it hadn't been himself, Squall would have snickered at the poor idiot. Being in debt to Trepe was death. Maybe I am an idiot. 

You just figured that out? 

And now he'd went all noble and crap and offered her the Potion. Why don't you ask her to your room and get it over with dimwit? Looking much better in pallor but still her face was strained; blue eyes lacking that sparkle that seemed to never leave, Quistis started on her way then stopped. 

Oh what now? 

Her eyes studied his face. Squall guessed they were about the same color of his own but lacking that cold hardness which made the color fully icy blue. Staring into eyes like that would get you in trouble. Get you to admit things that was buried deep inside and never supposed to come out. Many had fallen in love with that girl (she was only a girl, one year older than him but now she looked almost younger) and Squall deeply pitied the guy who she fell in love with. She'd be the type to pursue until she caught him and he wouldn't resist her. Squall was finding it hard enough as it was. 

One eyebrow quirked and the corner of her pink mouth lifted as well. Oh damn. That was what she was looking at! Him staring at her like some starving man who'd found a feast. He cleared his throat and continued on to the secret area where they were supposed to go. 

He paused outside the suspended walkway. What would she tell him? What was so damn important that Instructor Trepe could only tell him and in the secret area where no one would be if the desired it so? Taking a deep breath, Squall continued on the shaky bridge and crossed with ease. Whatever she had to tell him couldn't be that bad, could it? 

With a deep sense of dread, Squall watched her press in a code that would make the bridge disappear behind her as she walked across it. That was great, just fucking great. 

*FFVIII* 

What are you doing Quistis? Trying to get yourself in trouble? She scolded herself. Her fingers shook as they deftly typed in the code. Calmly and ignoring the obvious shocked look from Squall (which in itself would take an expert in the Squall-expressions category to find), Quistis crossed the bridge and motioned for Squall to lead the way. Bringing it up in herself to ask, she did ask him what was wrong. And of course, giggled when they replied in unison "Nothing." Definitely spending too much time with him Quistis, that needs to stop. He started again, pausing for the briefest of moments at the empty secret room. Empty? When the hell was the secret area ever ever empty? Just when you decide to use it Quisty (a pet name that had suddenly popped in her head from somewhere). Sighing in the quietest voice she could muster, Quistis strolled casually to the edge Squall was leaning on. Damn Quistis, the voice that had been talking way too much said admirably, you were right when you thought this was the place where your life was going to end. Now you just have to see which one. 

*FFVIII* 

Squall felt her presence as she came up behind him and it was intimidating. Alone, they had to be alone. Why couldn't she just leave him alone? Why'd she have to come to him with all her problems? He got more and more angrier with the passing moments and turned away from her when she rested her elbows on the ledge next to him. If she wanted to be comfortable and open to each other, she was going to have to earn it. And earning it would be the one thing Quistis Trepe couldn't do. 

After several moments of silence to where the tension was palpable between them, Squall himself was going to scream with the pointlessness of just standing there being nervous and not doing anything. She tugged on the streams of orange-blond hair in her face and quietly asked, "What time is it?" 

What time is it?! The voice inside his head raged. She took you all the way out her to ask what time it is?! Kill her, just do it now before there'll be witnesses. But ignoring that damn voice, Squall glanced down at the watch inside his jacket pocket. Just after midnight. He considered for a long time whether or not to tell her this. If he ignored her then she might just leave. With a furtive glance at her determined but heart-broken face, he sighed inaudibly. "Just after midnight." 

A sigh more depressing than his own came from her and he watched, shocked, as she slid down the rail and buried her face in her hands. What was she doing? He thought innocently, not accepting what she was doing. No, not Quistis Trepe. She doesn't do that. The closest thing he had to a friend couldn't be doing what she was doing. It was impossible. 

Quistis Trepe…crying? 

Awkwardly, for he wasn't used to doing submissive things like kneeling, Squall knelt next to Quistis and clumsily patted her shoulder. She gave a soft snort through her crying but didn't look up. Oh he really didn't want to be here, not at all. The damn dance and now being alone with some crying teacher. Could it get any worse? 

"How do you do it?" She said softly, not hesitating to wipe her wet hands on his clothes. Maybe that'll be sufficient enough as his duty as comfort boy. It didn't hurt to reply to her question did it? 

"Do what?" Ya know that if there had been a neon sign it wouldn't have been more obvious that you're setting yourself up Squall ol'buddy. Oh no. Did he just actually refer to himself like that? Things were taking a turn for the worse. 

Quistis seemed to have regained some composure but didn't stand. "I don't understand how you can just become a void. How do you do it Squall? How do you just not care? I don't want to care anymore. That's how I want to be. Just like you. Don't feel, don't care, don't get hurt." 

Is that what people saw him as? 

No stupid, that's only the image you've been trying to pull off ever since you got to the orphanage. 

So that's what people saw him like. A statue. A cyborg. What lovely images to add to his description files! He was someone who didn't care… but he didn't right? That's why it seemed like it; it really was the case. He didn't care, didn't feel anything. But if Quistis was right, why did he still end up getting hurt? Something in the logic didn't work. 

"You don't want to be like me…Quistis." Wow. Had he ever said her name before? That was a new one. It felt foreign and oddly pleasant in his mouth. Before the words could stop, "And it doesn't work that way. You still get hurt." 

Silence. 

Way to go Squally boy. Get'em Tiger. 

Shut up. 

He was going to leave. He couldn't stay one moment longer. The tension in the air was killing him (run like you always do). He couldn't handle it (you can't handle anything can you?). Somehow, she sensed he was going to leave and Quistis grabbed his forearm. 

Oh now why did she have to go do that? 

She drew his stiff and rigid body closer to her by his arm, and he did nothing except stay frozen. 

What the hell was happening? 

I don't think you're in control anymore Squally-kins. 

"I quit. I'm not an instructor anymore." What?! Where'd that come from?! Okay, who's responsible for this plot twist? His mind raced, why'd she quit? But when he went to indifferently ask these questions, Squall found his mouth no longer worked. 

Perfect. Not only are you getting a Grammy for this spectacular performance, but you're also gonna win the most prepared person in the world award too! Mouth doesn't work Squall? Or do you just not want to interrupt her? 

Shut up. 

"Headmaster is going to tell everyone I was fired." Short giggle. Just add one more thing to my problems Trepe. "But I quit." 

There's more to this than you think. 

I know three different languages. I can say 'Shut up before you die' in all of them. 

"And I did it for you." 

Once again, the plot twists to horrify Leonhart. 

For me? Why would Instructor Trepe quit for him? What did he do? He wasn't that bad of a student was he? Why couldn't he just ruin his own life in peace? No, everyone else had to get involved. 

I think this is one curvy road. 

Shut- oh no. 

Red came to her cheeks and she twisted her face to bury in the crook of his arm against his jacket. Squall felt his body belong once again to him and he stiffly put an arm around her. This was getting ugly. Trepe started crying again and Squall knew he couldn't take much more. Was there anything worse than hearing someone cry? 

Nope. 

And besides strangling her, there was only one thing he could do to turn off that damned noise. It wasn't like it was going to mean anything right? Right? Squall grabbed her head forcefully and pulled it up to meet his. 

And he kissed her. 

Smart move. 

Oh. 

Oh it wasn't supposed to be like that. That wasn't supposed to happen. She wasn't supposed to turn into liquid beneath him and his arms weren't supposed to lose their stiffness. Quistis wasn't supposed to hold him as tightly as he was holding her. Soon though, he didn't have to worry about the kissing. It got much, much worse. And it was then that the girl at the dance left his head and he realized something. 

He was in love with Quistis Trepe. 

*FFVIII* 

"Squall? Squall?" 

What? What happened? 

Where was he? 

I think we're back in Kansas Toto. 

I was *dreaming*?! Day-dreaming no less! Oh where did this headache come from? 

Squall glanced around briefly, taking in the lush forests of the Training Center. Before him was the suspended bridge to the secret area. So then, he blanked out right when they got to the bridge. Good. No make-out session. But fighting with her was almost as worse. 

Ignoring Quistis looking at him with that concerned look, he marched across the bridge and was glad to hear that she didn't hesitate at the end of the bridge to put in any code. 

The relevation he had made at the end of the daydream frightened him. He couldn't love anyone. That was the worst thing he could do. 

But......maybe it's not so bad. 

Yeah, maybe it's not so bad. 

Shut up. 

*FFVIII* 

Hope you liked it!!!! Email me @ angelfire2996@yahoo.com Ja Ne!!!! 


End file.
